...made a rhyme about me!
Here it is:
Rich Millin has a brand new Band
Woke up from my dream because I could hear the doorbell ringing
Trod on the laptop plug cos I was focused on the birdies singing
Check my face in the bathroom mirror, yes I look fucking minging
I wonder what delights, Wednesday the eleventh is bringing?
Oh yeah, I have an interview
About 5pm, in fact, make that quarter to
Run down the stairs get the door. 'Hello Clive how are you?'
'I got your suit I borrowed, and I bought you a yellow tie too!'
I just woke up, so I ain't in the best of fettle
And I got morning breath that's so toxic I could melt a petal
Lively up yourself today is gonna test your mettle
Go outside, light a cigarette, tread on a stinging nettle
Shit! now my foot is sore
And I am walking like a penguin across my kitchen floor
I am also shivering while my cup of tea I pour
It's blooming cold so I better shut the kitchen door
Turn on the laptop and Facebook says Rich Millin has a brand new band
I cough, and spill a little of my hot tea on my hand
Well that was something that wasn't planned
But I needed a drink to clear my throat of the night time sand
Now I am waking up and embracing the morning
I stretch my arms and legs and then I have a bout of yawning
The reality of this important interview I have is dawning
Get on the qwerty keys to see what shite my mind is spawning
I check my statuses and all the overnight notifications
Look at responses to see if I've caused any complications
Log in to Spotify and I hear Devlin's destinations
The days are gone of big mouths doing breakfast shows on radio stations
Go back outside for a second cigarette
I know, I know, I don't need one yet
But it's just a result of my OCD and obsessiveness and the urge I get
Because I have not found that happy ground that will cure me yet
Fuck, I got some shiz to do
I need a shave, a shower and a haircut too
Gotta get some paint splashes off of my left shoe
And get to the bank and back before half past two
Get in the shower and my body I wash and my muscles I flex
I wish that I could learn to calmeth and relax
My life is either dull or manic and crazy and complex
Yeah I know, things will change for me once I have some wicked sex
I close my eyes and let the water splash on my wrinkled face
I am quite lucky to have found a room in this little place
Even luckier to have privacy and my very own resting space
Where I can be creative or reclusive- it's fucking ace!
Get out the shower and catch a glimpse of my reflection
Damn there are new grey hairs upon a bit of closer inspection
But; I think I done ok since last year and my love rejection
And no, I'm not about to end this verse with a line about my thick erection!
Remove a bit of crusty sleep and a random hair from my nose
Go to my bedroom, sit on the bed and select some clothes
No, they are for Denmark so I can't wear those
Double denim day it is then I suppose
Light jeans on the bottom and dark jacket on the top half?
I hold them up against my body in the mirror and I fucking laugh
I'm gonna decide while I clean my night time skin and 'bits' from the bath
Shit! I lean over a bit too far and I've pulled me calf!
Just another stark reminder that old age is gradually settling in
Which jerks my memory about things I've done and places I've bin (it rhymes!)
I rub some Dove for men smelly lotion on my skin
Whilst remembering how I used to pull cos my face was nice and my body was thin
I know that none of you really cares
If I go in to town in a ladies blouse and 70's flares
So I preen myself a little more and shave my pubic hairs
Before wrapping a towel around myself and heading back downstairs
I feel all lovely and soft and smell quite nice
Before I know it, the kettle's on and a fag is lit in half a trice
It's probably boredom cos my life is lacking a little spice
Talking of spice, I'm gonna do something nice for tea with some jasmine rice
Well, cup of tea and third cigarette done and dusted
Need to get out of the house cos alone with myself I can't be trusted
For the purpose of this rhyme I'm back on Spotify listening to Busted
This section is a waste of time and I should never have started it, silly bastard!
Nip back upstairs and I rapidly start to get dressed
Start with jeans and no underpants and a nice little white vest
It makes me look like I got quite a lovely chest
Ready now, I check myself and boy do I look blessed
So now my morning has come to an end and my day is planned
In the hallway by the front door ready to go I stand
Check I got my bank details and my front door key in hand
Oh... did I mention... Rich Millin has a brand new band?!
R.I.P. MD Rhymestore...